


The Star-Spangled Man With A Plan

by Mistfire24



Series: The Baby Cheeks Protocol [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Funny, Gen, Humor, I just want them to be happy, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Steve is embarassed, The Avengers Are Good Bros, The Star-Spangled Man With A Plan, Tony Is Not Helping, Tony Stark Has A Heart, but that's okay, is this what avengers are supposed to act like, never letting it go, peter is so confused, pure fluff, so good they can laugh at steve, steve regrets everything, steve wants to die, they're all happy, tony finds a recording
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 00:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistfire24/pseuds/Mistfire24
Summary: Tony is forced to clean out and organize his father's old things.He finds a special surprise that he can't wait to share with the rest of the team.OREveryone is laughing because Steve Rodgers, A.K.A. Captain America is dressed in SPANDEX





	The Star-Spangled Man With A Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me.  
> I know VCR's were not invented during WWII, but just bear with me. They can have levitating cars, they can have VCRs. Also I did not look up any sciency engineering stuff so I know its probably not accurate. Thanks!
> 
> Also this is a labor of love, and my friends tell me its much more enjoyable when they read it than when I read it, so please tell me if you liked it!

Tony Stark scrubbed his hand over his face, frustrated. After the compromise with the accords had fallen through, all of the Avengers had been pardoned and emerged from hiding. And of course, had converged onto the new Avengers Compound, all clamoring for a room and space to train and reconnect with the others. Tony had managed to find everyone a room or rooms, depending on how often they stayed at the compound, but now he had to find a room for Underoos. The kid was going to start staying the weekends at the compound for formal training, something his aunt had insisted on after she found out he was Spider-Man. But the problem was, he couldn't find any room in the Avengers wing. Tony had considered putting him in the regular staff wing, but immediately shot it down. The kid may have super-powers, but Tony would prefer to have him safe and surrounded by experienced Avengers, especially when he's sleeping and vulnerable.

Tony ran his hands through his hair and rested his forehead on the desk, the cool wood soothing him.

"Where am I going to put the kid?" He muttered

"Sir, if I may make a suggestion?" FRIDAYS's voice rang out.

Tony blinked and raised his head.

"Yes, of course FRIDAY, go ahead."

"Do you remember the boxes that your late father left you?"

Tony frowned.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with this?"

"As I recall, you said 'Let's deal with this crap later,' and dumped it all into that room next to yours. It's a little small, but Mr. Parker will likely not notice."

Tony groaned.

"But that means I have to sort through all those boxes!"

"Sir, in all due respect, there are only 7 boxes in the room."

"Very well, unlock it," he sighted, waving a hand in the air. "I'll finish that today."

"Yes Sir."

Tony rose out of his chair and headed next door.

 

* * *

 

Tony cut the tape on the first box and opened it, sending an explosion of dust in the air. He waved it away, coughing, and pulled the first thing he grabbed out of it. It looked like a page of notes, and he began to read out loud.

"To create an effective high powered jet-propulsion engine for personal flight, one would need to use a powerful electromagnet, with wires running to electricity modulators-good lord this is so outdated," Tony said, throwing the papers behind him as he continued to rummage through the boxes.

* * *

 

 

Throughout the course of an hour and forty-two minutes, Tony had gone through all of the boxes except one.

He pulled out a piece of paper. "'High energy laser shots' been there done that. 'Artificial Intelligence' good god. 'Powerful potential energy reactor, (using arc technology)' are you kidding me?"

Working his way through the box, Tony was keeping a running commentary with himself as the pile of discarded papers grew behind him.

As Tony reached inside the box for the last few folders, his fingers struck something decidedly hard and plastic, a far cry form all the manilla folders and papers he had been going through. Curious, Tony lifted it up, and found an old VCR tape with a label containing faded cursive. Squinting, he brought it close to his face, but was still unable to decipher the faint words. Tony shrugged and set the tape down beside him and reached inside for more papers, but his fingers only scraped the cardboard bottom.

With a cheer, Tony threw the box behind him, raising his arms in celebration. Then he turned around and sighed, elation gone as he spotted the piles of paper and boxes scattered throughout the room. Stooping down, he gathered an armful of papers and began to lug them to the recycling bins.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony plopped down into his desk chair, spinning around as he released a content sigh. Finally he had gotten it done, just in time for Peter to get there, ready for the weekend and for Tony to direct Peter and Clint to the leftover furniture for them to do with what they wished.

He tapped the edge of the VCR tape against his desk. Now, to figure out what the hell was in here.

Tony set it down in the middle of his holographic desk.

"FRIDAY, analyze the contents of this VCR tape and save it to an unnamed file."

The desk whirred as it scanned the tape, quick flashing images projecting as a hologram as the computer committed it to memory.

"Sir, the VCR is done transmitting, would you like to play it?"

Tony waved a hand dismissively. "Sure, let's see what good ol' dad has left for me."

The screen before him went dark before black and white images were projected, and a jaunty patriotic tune started to play.

"Who's strong and brave here to save the American Way"

As Tony continued to watch, a positively delighted grin made it's way onto his face.

"FRIDAY, rename this file, 'Steve's Ultimate Demise'"

"Of course Sir," FRIDAY responded, while Tony leaned back in his chair, practically cackling with glee.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning found the Avengers in the large kitchen, bleary eyed as they clutched cups of coffee.

Steve, Thor, and Peter appeared to be the only ones truly awake, and the latter was helping the junior in high school with his history homework, with Thor commenting rather unhelpfully on events that he deemed as 'silly human rituals'.

"So," Peter said. "I'm pretty sure I understand war bonds, but can you explain them? It's so much more interesting when you explain."

Tony sauntered into the kitchen just as Peter spoke, with a smile that was suspiciously jovial for so early in the morning. This grin only widened as he caught Peter's question.

"Well," Tony said. Steve looked up, only to lock eyes with Tony, who, in Steve's opinion, looked far to gleeful for history homework. "Don't you know that every bond you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy's gun?"

Steve frowned. That sounded oddly familiar, almost like . . .

Oh no. No no no. This couldn't be happening

Steve peered over Peter's head and widened his eyes beseechingly at the billionaire. Tony spotted it, and his smile grew impossibly wider, looking, for all intensive purposes, like a shark.

"You should know that, shouldn't you Steve," Tony proclaimed loudly. The Avengers had started to perk up, realizing that something big was going down, even as Steve glared daggers at Tony.

The engineer looked practically giddy as he announced his next words.

"After all, you **_are_** the star-spangled man with a plan."

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

Then Clint choked on his coffee and spit it out all over the floor. He started coughing, looking bewildered.

"I'm sorry, I could've sworn you referred to Cap as, the star-spangled man with a plan," the archer spluttered.

Steve rested his head in his hands. "I'll murder you Stark," he groaned.

Tony, on the other hand, looked delighted at the way things were going and not at all concerned about Steve's death threat.

"Not if I kill you first. FRIDAY, 'Steve's Ultimate Demise'" he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Steve took one look at the screen, where he was running out in tights and spandex, and groaned, hiding his face. Almost giggling at this point, Tony leaned back on his heels and observed the show.

Thor was the first one to react, laughing heartily and clapping Steve on the back with one large hand. "This is excellent entertainment Captain of America! Worthy of Asgard!"

Steve just groaned miserably, hunching his shoulders.

Uproarious laughter erupted from the other side of the kitchen. Clint and Sam clutched their stomachs as they rolled around in their chairs.

"Cap-" Sam gasped out. "In spandex." He slapped a hand over his heart, gazing up thankfully into the heavens. "That's it," he giggled. "I can die happy now."

"He's prancing," Bruce said, staring hollowly at the screen in shock. "Like a show pony."

Sam snorted and Clint giggled even harder at the comparison. He lost his balance as he rolled too close to the edge of his chair and fell off. Clint hit the ground with a thud and continued to laugh, gasping for air.

Steve ran his hands through his hair and tugged lightly, before burying his face in his arms.

Natasha moved closer to the embarrassed hero. "Is he blushing?" She asked curiously. Nat poked one flaming cheek and snickered. "Steve's blushing," she announced. "His cheeks and neck are all red."

Wanda grinned and then bit her lip, because should she laugh, was that acceptable? From her perch atop the counter next to Clint, who was still laughing uncontrollably on the ground, she decided that yes, it would be okay to laugh. She let out a small giggle at Steve, who, completely red-faced with mussed up hair, was glowering at anyone and everyone. It did not have the intended effect, Wanda thought, as he looked more like a disgruntled puppy than an American icon and a potential menace.

Floating beside her was Vision, observing the scene coolly, and without any display of emotion.

"Captain Rodgers, your body tempature has increased dramatically, I suggest you calm down."

The only response was a flying American History textbook on a trajectory to his head.

Vision avoided it easily. "It also appears that your anger levels have increased as well."

Steve hurled a mechanical pencil at him and everyone laughed. 

Steve puffed out his cheeks and glared. "Stop laughing at me," he huffed. "I am Captain America, and I can take you all down in an instant."

Rhodey snickered from his corner of the room, and when Steve rounded on him, he held up his hands in submission. "Hey, I'm just saying man, you look about as dangerous as a kicked puppy, which is to say, not at all."

"I'm threatening," he protested.

Rhodey pointed to the screen, where past Steve was smiling and waving at the crowd. "Not when you stage punch fake Hitlers in the face and then wink," Rhodey said flatly. "Makes you look like you can't punch for shit."

Steve gaped at him, speechless.

"First of all, LANGUAGE! Second of all, I am so threatening and dangerous and I **_can_** punch very well, thank you very much." Steve said, crossing his arms petulantly.

Natasha let out a small snort, and Steve shot her a glare, before looking around the room defiantly. Rhodey raised an eyebrow questioningly, and Steve lifted his chin proudly.

"I'll prove it to you!" He turned to Peter. "Peter, am I intimidating?"

"Uhhhh . . . " The teen's eyes went wide.

What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to tell his childhood hero that he looked as intimidating as a hamster? Especially when Steve stared at Peter with pleading eyes and hair sticking up everywhere, with flushed cheeks? What was he supposed to do?

 

Peter was so confused.

 

Because, was this what the Avengers were like? Full of pranks and laughter and childishness? Were his heros not quite as heroic as he expected? Sure, Peter knew that they wre only human, and had to let it out sometimes, but this was _**so**_ far from Peter's imagination. Because who knew that Captain America had to dress up in spandex (spandex!) and parade around with line-dancers singing about how he was going to save them. It was too surreal, and Peter had to admit, it was funny. But now, he was being asked by his childhood hero if he was intimidating and Peter had **_no_** idea what to tell him.

His eyes slid to the right of Steve's hopeful face and focused on the screen behind him, where Captain America stood, hands on his hips, as the last chords of the star-spangled man with a plan swelled to a finale.

Peter's eyes flickered between the two Captain Americas before opening his mouth.

"Yes?" the timid answer came out like a question, but Cap looked elated anyway. Peter's chest deflated with a sigh.

Sue him, he had lied, but he couldn't disappoint Cap. And it was so worth it.

The older man was grinning brightly, a look of childish delight on his face.

"See!" Steve was saying. "Peter thinks I'm intimidating, so ha!"

There were eye-rolls all around as Steve looked out proudly.

"And that means Peter's my favorite now. Right Peter?"

And Peter, embarrassingly, turned bright red and let out a squeak. He cleared his throat, and mumbled something that sounded like, " Sure that's fine, I'm his favorite, just Captain America's favorite person right now."

The rest of the Avengers smiled fondly at the young superhero. They all knew how much Peter admired Steve, and it was adorable to see how he reacted.

Tony smiled, pleased. Sam was smiling happily, Clint was on the ground, still giggling, though he was hiccupping occasionally. Vision was impassive as always (Tony really hadn't expected much from him), but Wanda was smiling softly, eyes shining (He considered that a definite win). Rhodey looked content, Bruce looked the most relaxed and happy Tony had seen in a while, Natasha was snickering softly, but as his gaze caught on her, she looked up and gave him a wink. And Steve, well, Steve was starting to laugh, though there was still a gleam of childishness in his eyes. Tony felt his heart soften. They often forgot how young Steve really was, being stuck in ice and all, but he was only 24. And Steve often acted much older than he was, taking charge and being a leader. But Tony was sure that even before he became a super-soldier, he wasn't allowed to act his age, what with the Great Depression and all.

Tony regarded Steve and Peter with a fatherly air, before laughing along with the rest of them, as Sam scared Peter and he shot straight up to the ceiling, where he stuck, ruffled and indignant looking. Tony felt a warm bubble rising in his chest, encompassing his whole body until he was coated in the feeling. Warm, safe, and comfortable. Tony glanced at the faces around him, knowing that it was because of them that he felt this way. He leaned against the counter before joining in the chatter, as his family laughed, joked, and played.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve ruffled his hair, a little exasperated. He could _**not**_ believe Tony found out about his campaign involvement. His ears burned as he recalled the teases and laughter. Steve let out a sigh. Hopefully Tony wouldn't keep bringing that up every time Steve messed up. He opened the door to the common room and stepped in.

"Captain Steve Rogers confirmed. Activating 'Baby Cheeks' protocol." FRIDAY's voice ran out through the empty room as Steve looked up, a befuddled expression on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

Tony sat right around the corner from Steve, a Starkpad grasped in his hands. He pulled up the security feed in the common room and turned on the sound.

"-Baby Cheeks' protocol."

His grin grew absolutely wicked and his eyes narrowed in on Steve's face.

"Who's strong and brave here to save the American Way."

Steve's face grew blank.

" _ **GODDAMMIT TONY**_!"

Tony Stark's laughter could be heard throughout the compound.

> * * *

**Author's Note:**

> It is 11:00 pm here and I have a AP gov test tomorrow, so I should leave. 
> 
> I wrote this out on 18 pages in a notebook and typed it over the course of an hour and a half, so give me love. I deserve it.


End file.
